I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just found puke in my bra..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
