then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
