oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
