it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
