i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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