Sry I called you an 8
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think my moral compass just broke
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