All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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