sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's official drugs can't kill me
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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