You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I could fuck to npr.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
