Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize