I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
