I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
PANTIES FOUND
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