i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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