Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
