This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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