After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
