I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My dick has a subreddit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
