She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
