Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
