I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
