where am i from again
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
