My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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