For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
too bad you live with your parents still
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Randomize
