we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
