i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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