I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Welp...herpes.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
