I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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