No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize