lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
