somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
