He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
