I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
