The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
