I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
