i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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