I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
