Walk of Shame. In a state park.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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