Do you still have your period?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
