it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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