Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
