do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
