How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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