New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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