my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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