Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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