I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
