I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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