it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
