She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
