I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
