He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize