Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
