i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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