is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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