Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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