she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
