If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
