My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
