the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
