real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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